Infertility SUCKS!!!

Well this last month I was on Femara from days 3-7 of my cycle, then gave myself  shots of bravelle on days 7, 9 and 11. On day 12 I went into Dr. Swelstad's office and did an ultrasound to check on the follicles (supposed to be created by the shots). I had 2 mature follicles, one on each side. That night I did a shot of HCG to get those follicles to ovulate. On day 14 (Jan 10) we went in to do the IUI. Everything went well and we thought this was the month we were going to conceive. Well, we were wrong. On Jan 24th, aunt flow came to visit once again. I was devastated, mad, upset. When I got home from work I just laid on my bed and just sobbed. The pain hurt so bad. I felt like a part of me was going away, I felt empty. Shane held me while I cried and we were silent for a while. The tears just kept coming and wouldn't stop. I had a dream the night before that we had a beautiful baby boy. I held him against me and told him how much I loved him. His little eyes were wide awake just looking at me as I was talking to him. I woke up and wanted it to be true with all my heart. It made the pain even worse. Why I have to endure this trial I don't know, but I have to tell myself that God has a plan for me and he knows my pain. It's just hard when I want it more than anything and it just doesn't happen and it doesn't get any easier.
Quotes I found today that have made me laugh, cry and think: