NICU

Axel had to spend 24 days in the NICU. We got to bring him home on August 3^rd  weighing 5 lbs 1 oz. What an amazing day that was! It was so hard watching him in his little incubator and not being able to hold him whenever I wanted. The NICU staff was wonderful and as hard as it was for those 24 days we learned so much while we were there. I am so grateful for modern technology.

Most of the time I was by myself at the hospital while Shane had to go to work, it was really hard not having him with me all the time. There were numerous times when I would hold Axel and I could feel how close he was still to Heavenly Father.  I could feel the spirit so strong when I would hold him and several times I got tears in my eyes when I thought about all we had to go through to get him here. When I got to hold him during his feeding times I got to ponder so many things. Whenever I was having a hard time I could just look at my baby and feel so much better. He is such a miracle and blessing. I remember holding him one day and thinking about how hard it must have been for Heavenly Father to watch his Son go through so much pain and suffering. He could have taken it away from Jesus, but didn’t because of Jesus’ purpose in coming to the earth.  I am so grateful that Jesus suffered so much for me so I can be forgiven over and over for my mistakes and sins. What love He has for all of us to be willing to go through so much. If I knew that Axel is who I would be getting as a son my trial may not have been so hard, but going through that trial taught me so much. I am so much more thankful for the opportunity I have of being a mother and I get to really appreciate my baby.  I love him more than words can express. The gift of life is so amazing! 

Axel received 2 blessings from Shane and my dad and was told that he had angels in heaven and on earth watching over him. It was so comforting to hear. I also received blessings from my wonderful husband and father that helped me greatly. One day I was having a hard time because Axel had a week where he wasn’t really progressing with drinking his bottle and I wanted my baby to come home and this made him have to stay in the NICU longer. I was sitting there holding him and was sad and getting tears in my eyes and all of the sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked around and couldn’t see anybody. I started to cry a little because I knew it was a special hand meant just for me. I knew then that everything would be okay and that Heavenly Father knew what I was going through and was there to comfort me. He knew how much I needed that reassurance that He loves me and that He hears my prayers.