Surgery/Hard news

On October 5 I had a second ultrasound to check on my cycts and found out they had gotten bigger and I had more of them. We decided to go ahead with surgery on Oct 13 to remove the cysts and endometriosis. I had a laparoscopy, D&C, and hysteroscopy. After the surgery my Dr. talked to my husband and told him I had a  baseball size cyst on my left side, which they didn't see in the ultrasound, and a golf ball size one on my right side, that got sent off to see if it was cancerous. After about 2 weeks I felt pretty good and back to normal. It was really hard to not be able to take care of Axel 100%. He is such a mommas boy and it broke my heart when he wanted me or needed me and I couldn't do a lot for him. Thankfully I had my husband, mom and sister to help me out.

On November 2, I had my post-op with my Dr. and got some disappointing news. I was told that my insides were a mess. The Dr. said it looked like someone had poured super glue inside me and everything was stuck together. I had so much endometriosis everywhere to remove and some he couldn't get to, to remove. He said he is worried about my tubes and that if I were to get pregnant my chances of having a tubal pregnancy would be high. Right now the chances of a sperm and egg being able to meet is pretty impossible. So, our next step now is going on Lupron shots to try and get rid of more endometriosis. Lupron shots will put me in a menopausal like phase, so I will have night sweats and hot flashes and a decrease in estrogen. I will probably do these shots for 6 months and then the Dr. wants to do another surgery to "fix" me. He said everything is kind of out of place so we will have to try and get to a place where I might be able to conceive again. Still, the lupron shots and surgery may not help to get pregnant and I can still have a risk of a tubal pregnancy. My only 3 options are birth control, lupron shots or hysterectomy.

I left the Dr. office feeling super sad, emotional and heartbroken. To pretty much hear that the chances of conceiving again are pretty slim to none was really hard to take in and accept. It made me realize again how much of a miracle my little Axel really is. I don't know what else I need to learn from this trial, but I know I have to go through it with faith and hope that all works out.