Holidays

For Thanksgiving we went to my parents house and ate lots of yummy food. That night my mom and I went and stayed at Des and Mike's house to go shopping. At 10 pm Des, I and Mike went out shopping till 1 am. We got a few hours of sleep and mom, Des and I got up at 5:30 am and went shopping again. Shane brought us Axel in the afternoon so he could go to work. He is such a good little shopping buddy.
On Saturday, Shane and I celebrated our 7th anniversary while my parents watched Axel. We went to the last Hunger Games movie and out to eat at Panda Express.

Christmas was so much fun this year with Axel. He loves to tear paper up in little pieces. Shane and I did our Christmas early with Axel on Wednesday night. Shane had got him a little basketball hoop and put a new net on it and got a mini basketball. Axel absolutely loves it.

We spent Christmas Eve with my family and the kids got to open a few gifts. The grand kids all got big pillows to open. Axel got a giraffe that he loves to lay on and pat. They also got some new jammies to sleep in. We decorated cookies and ate lots of food and sweets. My parents were nice and let Axel sleep in their room while Shane and I slept downstairs.
Christmas morning we woke up about 8 and got the kids up. We waited for Mike to get there from working the night before to open presents and have breakfast. Axel got a block train, little tablet, clothes and more. He is a spoiled boy, but we sure love him to pieces. 

Later that day we got ready and packed up all our things to get ready to go to Utah to celebrate with Shane's side. We slept at Shane's sister Mandys house with almost everyone there. We played games, had dinner and hung out. Axel did fall down a flight of stairs that scared both he and I.
On Saturday we woke up and had breakfast and got ready. We got to the church around noon and were there until 9 pm. We had appetizers, dip and dinner there. Axel loved to be in the gym with the older kids and play basketball. He kept saying all day, ball ball and would walk right in there.
It was good to be able to spend time with both sides of the family.

16 & 17 Months

At 16 months old Axel is showing more and more of his adorable, spunky personality. We love to watch him grow and change and learn. He is picking up on stuff so fast now. He likes to hold the phone to his ear and says hello (heyo), he likes to close the fridge and doors, he knows where his toes, nose (no), bum bum (grabs his pee pee) and eye. He loves to poke at other peoples eye and nose too. He is becoming quite the little copy cat. He points at everything and says whats that. He does great with following commands like go get me a book to read, come here, bring me a ball. He likes to brush his teeth and knock on doors/windows. When we go bye bye he brings me his shoes (soo) and coat (co). He likes to feed himself with fork/spoon and drink from a cup. He goes to the fridge when he is hungry or thirsty. He loves his blankie and packs it everywhere and he loves to sing. Some of his favorite songs are Old MacDonald (he loves to sing eieio), and once there was a snowman.

At 17 months he is doing a lot of the same things. He is so smart and catches on so fast. He is up to about 25 words now. He has learned cookie (cooocoo) and cracker (caker) and noodle (noonle). He loves to play with a bowl (bow) and spoon and play eat. He is so much fun and is a little tornado! He loves to watch Mickey Mouse and repeats when they say. "oh toodle" and loves to sing and dance to the end song, Hot Dog.

Surgery/Hard news

On October 5 I had a second ultrasound to check on my cycts and found out they had gotten bigger and I had more of them. We decided to go ahead with surgery on Oct 13 to remove the cysts and endometriosis. I had a laparoscopy, D&C, and hysteroscopy. After the surgery my Dr. talked to my husband and told him I had a  baseball size cyst on my left side, which they didn't see in the ultrasound, and a golf ball size one on my right side, that got sent off to see if it was cancerous. After about 2 weeks I felt pretty good and back to normal. It was really hard to not be able to take care of Axel 100%. He is such a mommas boy and it broke my heart when he wanted me or needed me and I couldn't do a lot for him. Thankfully I had my husband, mom and sister to help me out.

On November 2, I had my post-op with my Dr. and got some disappointing news. I was told that my insides were a mess. The Dr. said it looked like someone had poured super glue inside me and everything was stuck together. I had so much endometriosis everywhere to remove and some he couldn't get to, to remove. He said he is worried about my tubes and that if I were to get pregnant my chances of having a tubal pregnancy would be high. Right now the chances of a sperm and egg being able to meet is pretty impossible. So, our next step now is going on Lupron shots to try and get rid of more endometriosis. Lupron shots will put me in a menopausal like phase, so I will have night sweats and hot flashes and a decrease in estrogen. I will probably do these shots for 6 months and then the Dr. wants to do another surgery to "fix" me. He said everything is kind of out of place so we will have to try and get to a place where I might be able to conceive again. Still, the lupron shots and surgery may not help to get pregnant and I can still have a risk of a tubal pregnancy. My only 3 options are birth control, lupron shots or hysterectomy.

I left the Dr. office feeling super sad, emotional and heartbroken. To pretty much hear that the chances of conceiving again are pretty slim to none was really hard to take in and accept. It made me realize again how much of a miracle my little Axel really is. I don't know what else I need to learn from this trial, but I know I have to go through it with faith and hope that all works out.

15 Months/Halloween

Our sweet baby boy is 15 months! The time just keeps passing so fast and our little man is growing and learning so much. He has learned to say no, and says it often, and choo choo when the train passes by our house. He kisses his hand (blows kiss) and gives lots of hugs and kisses, which we absolutely love! He is a full on walker and is trying to run. He loves balls, books, cars and going bye bye.When we get him from his crib he lays his head down on our shoulder and pats our back. He likes to meow like a kitty and growls like a puppy. He now has 4 teeth and has weened himself from his binkie. He has such a fun personality and gets cuter everyday. We love him so much and would be lost without him. He is our perfect, amazing little miracle boy and we thank God for him everyday!

Halloween

This year we actually got to take Axel out trick-or-treating, which was so fun. He was dressed in a little Dracula costume and looked so adorable. We went to the Clarion Inn on Thursday night with my Desirae and the girls and did trick-or-treating, then we went to ISU for their Halloween carnival. It was a lot of fun. On Saturday, Shane and I took Axel to McCammon for a trunk or treat and then went around house to house in Arimo. We may have had more fun then him, but he sure enjoyed his candy.

Summer fun

In April we celebrated Easter by going to some egg hunts in Downey and Arimo on Saturday and dyed eggs that night. Also in April Axel and I went to Bear World with my mom, Des, Mike and their girls. It was fun and kind of cold. They did an Easter egg hunt for the kids and the girls rode on some rides. We drove around the park and looked at the animals and got to see some new baby bear cubs.

In May we went to the Idaho Falls zoo for Braelyn's 3rd birthday. The kids had a good time looking at all the animals and watching a show.

In June we did a family trip to Island Park. My moms friend let us stay in her cute cabin. We rode 4-wheelers, played games, ate good food, went on a hike and looked at beautiful waterfalls fishing and enjoyed each others company. It was a lot of fun.

In July I put together a birthday party for Shane and Axel. Shane turned 30 and Axel turned 1. It was a lot of fun but super windy at Robin park. Shane got teased quite a bit from family. Axel wouldn't really touch his smash cake. We made some baseball cakes for Ax and black cakes for Shane.

In August we went to the Ross park pool for Brielle's 5th birthday.  Axel liked the lazy river, but didn't like being splashed. We went to pizza hut after and sang to Brie.
Shane, Axel and I went to Sun Valley and had a little mini vacation. We stayed in Hailey at a hotel and went swimming one night. We went on a nice bike ride and enjoyed the scenery and looked around. We watched an orchestra practicing and that was pretty cool. On our way home we stopped in Twin Falls and went to an ice cave and a waterfall.

Why not me?

So a couple weeks ago Shane and I were talking one evening and he showed me a movie trailer for 'just let go' that is coming to theaters soon. Its about a man who lost his wife, unborn child and 2 other children in a car accident caused by a 17 year old drunk driver. In the trailer toward the end it says "why me, why did this happen to me?" and then the husband going through this trial came to the conclusion of "why not me?" It stuck out to both me and my husband and we were talking about it later. So many times we question things that happen or go wrong in our lives. So many times we ask why me or how could you do this to me. When we are faced with difficulty in our lives through trials, deaths, financial difficulties and many other things, it is often hard to see the positive things in our lives and we tend to dwel on the negative. A lot of times after the storm has passed and things start to look up and we may get what we were hoping for we can often see why things were the way they were or are. For example, when I was struggling with infertility I would get angry and be so upset that Heavenly Father wasn't blessing me with a child that I so desperately wanted and longed for. After 4.5 year of trying to have a baby we were shocked and surprised to find out we were expecting. Even when our precious baby was born so early and we spent 3 weeks in the NICU it was hard and sometimes I asked why me. But after all that I have been able to look back and see why things happened the way they did and I have been able to appreciate my baby more and appreciate what Heavenly Father has given me. He has given me an amazing gift and He is trusting me with this wonderful soul. When we want something we want it now, we don't want to wait and be patient. I have learned to trust in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. He knows what is best for me, He knows my wants and wishes, but He also knows my needs and capabilities.

All that being said, it is still hard to go through difficult times and sometimes to have the faith we need to get through it. We have these difficult times to make us stronger, better people. We can either learn from the things we have to go through or we can give up and stay miserable.

Back the the 'why not me' part of the film, I have been pondering on it since I watched the trailer. I have thought about how that can humble us a little bit. Someone else out in the world can be fighting a greater battle, someone else can have a harder circumstance to bear. That phrase has made me look at things a little differently. How am I any better than the next person that has to deal with trials similar to mine? I am not perfect and I still have a lot of learning and growing to do in this lifetime. We knew we would face trials in this life when we agreed to gain a body and come to earth. We know that we need to get through these hard times in order to make it back home with our Heavenly Father. So instead of questioning  His plan for us, let us think 'why not me.' We can focus of the positive rather than the negative and go through our dificult times with faith and hopefully someday we will be able to understand why we had to go through them. Heavenly Father is always with us and knows what we are going through. He understands. He had to bear burdens so great we could never understand. He was perfect and he still had to pass through difficult times. He bled from every pore for OUR sins, not His own. He had to be tortured and nailed to a cross for US, for OUR salvation so that we could be forgiven and return home. He knew what He had to do and He did it. I would assume He never questioned 'why me' or 'how could you do this to me'...He knew why and He understood why it was so crucial for Him to go through all He had to endure.

Maybe next time when we have to go through something hard or difficult we can say why not me and try and become better, more faithful and knowledgeable. 

7-14 months

Axel has learned so much and is growing so fast. Since I am a little behind on the blog I am going to update from 6 mos to a year.
At 7 Months old he can sit, does a fake cough (that is pretty hilarious), says gaga and enjoys peek-a-boo.
 9 Months old he can say mama, wave bye bye, can sign all done, he loves to make motorboat noise, loves to play catch, he shakes his head no no, he has learned to growl, yell and throw fits (which are super fun). He has a few new things where he puts both arms straight behind him like he is flying backwards and with his left arm he puts up by his ear with his hand in a fist (we call it the superman/superbaby arm).
10 months old he calls Shane dada or bob :) he gets on his hands and knees, claps his hands and likes to cross his feet when sitting. He can feed himself finger foods and likes to pinch peoples neck. He loves his blankie and likes to rub the corners of it under his nose, on his cheeks and hands and likes to chew on the corners as well. He doesn't like to try and hold his own bottle so while I hold it for him he likes to play with his ears and my face and neck or pull my hair.
11 months he reaches his arms when he wants you, does the army crawl, pulls himself up on furniture and figures out how to full on crawl. He likes to put his finger in other peoples mouth and hang upside down.
12 months old he is into everything (we call him the master of disaster) and throws everything, including food and toys, he has a fake laugh, he eats solid food, loves to be outside, finally got two bottom teeth popping through, likes to point to things or people with his finger, he tries to share his binkie, gives hugs and puts phones up to his ear and jibber jabbers (it is so darn cute!) His last checkup he was 19 lbs 12 oz (3%) and 30.5 in. long (75%)
13 months he can take a few steps and says uh-oh, bye bye, baba, mama, dada, nana, papa. He is starting to imitate sounds and noises and likes to empty toys or clothes from a bin.
14 months he loves to be chased and held and is a huge mama's boy. He likes pat-a-cake, this little piggy, and music. He loves to play with other kids, he hates when I am out of sight and sometimes gets frustrated when he can't do something himself. He can say peek-a-boo, thank you and is trying to imitate sounds of dogs barking, cows mooing and birds chirping. He is getting so good at throwing and catching a ball. He is taking several steps by himself and getting more comfortable with walking. He has become quite the fit thrower when he doesn't get his way and screams when he is mad. He has an awesome fake laugh and cough. He now has 4 teeth, 2 on top and 2 on bottom. He is so active and fun, we can't imagine life without him.

6 Months

Axel is half a year old! It has went by so fast and he is growing so much and learning new things all the time. He can reach for objects, he likes to look at himself in the mirror, he can roll both ways, he loves to play with and eat on his toes and fingers, gets excited when he sees mommy and daddy, is starting to babble and has the cutest little laugh. He doesn't love to be tickled and is pretty hard to get laughs out of. He is starting to like peek a boo and he puts everything in his mouth. We started him on cereal and baby food which he wasn't too sure about at first. His favorites are carrots, bananas, pears and raspberries. He is starting to sleep better at night and is starting to enjoy bath time a little more. He likes to babble, has figured out how to make other noises and likes to feel and pull my hair. I love this little boy with all my heart!!

Christmas/ 5 Mo

5 Months old Axel is starting to do better with tummy time, he gets excited when he sees his bottle, he is very jumpy to loud sounds and is a smiley baby boy. He is starting to not have his hands in fists so much and likes to watch peoples face and his mobile. Axel has always been an active little boy, he likes to kick his legs and move his arms like he is trying to run. He is in his own room in his crib now and has adjusted well. He is no longer sleeping in the car seat, his reflux is getting better and his colic is gone. He is a good and happy baby. He is in 6 month clothes and still size 2 diaper.

Axel had his first Christmas at my parents house with my side of the family. We stayed Christmas Eve there and played games, frosted cookies and had good food. We woke up Christmas morning about 9:00 and waited for everyone else to wake up. We started the day with opening presents, which was a blast even though he had no idea what was going on. We spent the rest of the day visiting and playing games and eating. We had a great Christmas.

Thanksgiving/ 4 Mo

4 months old Axel is still struggling with reflux and colic which breaks my heart; I hate to see my baby in pain and cry for long periods of time. Thankfully the omeprazole and gripe water help him. At his 4 mo checkup he was 12 lbs, 6 oz and 23 in long. He is in 3-6 and  6 month clothes and size 2 diapers. He is starting to love one of his blankies from grandma Call and enjoys being cuddled and rocked. He enjoys being in his swing and sleeps in it throughout the day. We have him sleeping in a carseat due to his reflux and that seems to help at night. He is still sleeping in our room next to our bed; daddy would like him in his own room, but I'm not ready for him to move yet. It's comforting to me to be able to reach over and pat him back to sleep or give him his binkie and know he is breathing and doing ok. He is starting to show his little personality as well and will open his mouth to give me kisses. 

2 Days after his checkup we watched Dez and Mikes girls for 10 days while they went on vacation with my parents. I soon realized it was A LOT of work having 3 kids to take care of and Axel was the easy one. It's a good thing I love those girls so much! It was a little crazy and chaotic and sometimes stressful, but it was also fun. The girls loved helping with Axel and Brie loved to hold him. Rae struggled a little bit not being the baby and kept wanting me to hold her.

For Thanksgiving this year we went to Utah to spend it with Shane's side. We had fun being with family and we ate a lot! Axel on the other hand was not having too much fun. I don't know if he wasn't feeling well or if there were too many people and he was having some anxiety, but he was super fussy and just wanted to be held by mom and dad. That night Shane and his dad gave him a blessing to try and help him feel better and soon after that he calmed down a little. On black Friday I went out shopping with Jen and that was fun to get away for a little while.

Blessing/3 mo/ Halloween

3 Months old! I can't believe how fast time is flying by. Axel enjoys being held, rocked, being talked to, his binky and eating. He is growing great and looks healthy. He is in 3 month clothes and size 1 diapers.  

On October 12, 2014, Axel was blessed by his amazing daddy! The blessing outfit we had bought was way too big on him so we decided to get him blessed in his uncle Derek's blessing outfit that he was blessed in 27 years previous. It was such a special day for us. In the circle we had Shane, my dad (Kelly), Shane's dad (Bruce), Axel's uncles: Caleb, Morgan, Jake, Mike, my uncle Craig and Bishop Morris. It was also special having Axel in Derek's outfit because we felt like that was part of Derek in the circle with Axel. Shane gave such a beautiful blessing and I felt the spirit so strong.

After the blessing we had a luncheon at the McCammon city hall building. We had lots of family there to share Axel's special day with us. We had sloppy joes, salad and dessert.

On Halloween Axel and I went to Pocatello with my parents to meet Dez and her family at her house. Before the church trunk or treat we got to see Derek and his family for a little while. I had Axel dressed in a little skeleton outfit that aunt Dez had bought him. Axel slept the whole time during the trunk or treat so that was nice that I didn't have to take him out in the cold weather. Brie and Rae had a good time getting candy and were excited about how much they got.

After trunk or treat we meet up with Shane at Perkins to have dinner. There was us, my parents, Dez and Mike and the girls. Axel did pretty good at the restaurant and we had a good Halloween.